Some people that I associate with have been described by mutual acquaintances as being “moody”. Some people that I have met describe themselves as being moody. I have never worn this moniker (at least that I know of) but perhaps I deserve to. It has been a while since I have done any work on , and my rational mind will immediately send out a memo (internal and external) that we’ve been busy readying the rental property in Southern California for a new set of tenants (along with the temporary reduction of income that such a transition constitutes), and that last week we were on vacation up in the Pacific Northwest. The truth of the matter is that even before these events I was experiencing a low level of energy and motivation towards my project. It’s charming to talk of Mercury Retrogrades, or Solar conjunction with Saturn (yea I know all about that stuff mostly cause’ I’m an amateur astronomer and I pay attention to the moon out of old habits related to tides surfing and flying NVG missions in the Army). But I feel that the explanation is neither as practical as the right side of my brain wants it to be, or as mystical as what the planets are up to these last few months...
Talking about a project is
the easy part, and it’s what Americans do best. Consider our government
which rules on the philosophy that if something is filibustered long enough
that somebody else will have to deal with it… Most people I know are also
pretty good at using their electronic devices to plan out how their projects
should go in a perfect world. This isn’t a sin, (…fail to plan, plan to
fail…) but it is a laboratory exercise, and the real world does not typically
acknowledge the theoretical validity, nor appreciate the effort that is
invested in human planning. Slightly harder (but still pretty easy cause’
most people receive a level of gratification from spending money, and confuse
shopping with creativity) is acquiring all the equipment needed for a project.
Probably two thirds of all major projects make it to step one of their
owner’s plan – and then die as jagged reality descends upon pretty concept.
I can at least claim to
have completed all but the final chapter (last batch of steps in the plan) with
my project to restore this boat. She’s all ready to receive a new coat of
pain, and then reassembly). This fact already qualifies me as a “doer”
and a “Man of Action”, far more credible (and potentially dangerous) that most.
I know, I know, I am on the hook for the ongoing maintenance of this
craft. So why my waning energy and interest at this late stage of the
game? Certainly it has made me more vulnerable to domestic accusations
that Sigrun is actually a bottomless money pit. If she were standing
ready right now, there would be a couple of emotionally charged conversations
that would never have happened at our place.
All this should have me
worried and chasing phantoms through the dark corridors of doubt, but I don’t
get that feeling at all. I think my security comes from something I read
somewhere years ago...
“Mountains should be
climbed with as little effort as possible and without desire. The reality of
your own nature should determine the speed. If you become restless, speed up.
If you become winded, slow down. You climb the mountain in an equilibrium
between restlessness and exhaustion. Then, when you are no longer thinking
ahead, each footstep isn't just a means to an an end but a unique event in
itself. This leaf has jagged edges. This rock looks loose. From this
place the snow is less visible, even though closer. These are things you should
notice anyway. To live only for some future goal is shallow. It’s the sides of
the mountain that sustain life, not the top. Here's where things grow.”
Zen and the Art of
Motorcycle Mechanics, Robert M. Pirsig
Since my high school days
it has been evident to me that sailboats are all about the rapidly vanishing
art of the journey (the destination often being of lesser importance).
This period of what modern homo-urbanus would describe as procrastination
may be some deeper preparation for a transition between chapters in the story
of Sigrun. Perhaps this a lingering over a point in the process
tantamount to “climbing a mountain in an equilibrium between restlessness and
exhaustion.” Perhaps there is something here that I “should notice
anyway.”
“…A boat demands investment
from us, and I don’t mean financial investment. Every boat presents a
challenge; that’s what makes it seem almost alive. Without care, boats
die – and a dying or dead boat is, at the very least, heart wrenching.
The more time we give to a boat, the more it thrives – and the strange
part is – so do we. They open us to their own rhythms and to those of the
water that they carry us over.”
Designer & Client,
Antonio Dias
Well, certainly since my
last writing, the northern hemisphere has tilted well into autumn which comes
on faster and with more drama than in regions even slightly further from the
ocean. Thick coastal fog, spectacularly colored deciduous leaves, an
increasing frequency of bigger waves down the hill all testify of this and
speak tot he rhythm of the water that Mr. Diaz refers to. Interestingly
the term deciduous has deeper meaning than simply the group of tree species
know as hardwoods. Literally it means “with the tendency to fall off at
maturity.” As I mentioned, I’m pretty far along in the process of
readying Sigrun for the ocean, and perhaps there is a metaphor here connected to
the change of season. ...A falling off of productivity when completion
(or maturity) comes in sight... If Mr. Pirsig and Mr. Dias are
correct, than peaks and valleys of productivity are normal when undertaking a
big project.
...You want more
circumstantial evidence that I’m actually talking sense?
1 To every [thing there
is] a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2 A time to be
born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up [that which
is] planted; 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a
time to build up; 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a
time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones
together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to
get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to
rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 A time
to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. 9 What profit
hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth? 10 I have seen the travail,
which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.”
King James Bible
, Ecclesiastes Chpt. 3
P.S. New Moon this Wednesday at 12:56 Pacific time, Jupiter has been prominent in the Eastern sky these last few mornings...
0 comments:
Post a Comment